Friend holding a grudge
I have a friend who went through a very messy breakup and now maintains
the view that his ex is 'evil' despite months of people trying to help
him get over it.
In August I'm going to be doing a youth theatre production
(6 hours a day 6 days a week) with my friend and his ex and I either alienate
his ex and all her friends (what he wants) or he will say I 'betrayed'
him and probably not talk to me.
I'm a bit stuck for solutions so any advice
would be great.
While he's conceivably right about his ex, he is wrong to carry on a vendetta,
and even wronger to try and drag his friends into it. You are not putting
yourself in an impossible position, HE is forcing it on you.
I think the
key is to talk to him before the event, and the conversation probably needs
- I understand your position
- I really don't want to be
- I'm not taking sides, this is an opportunity that has nothing
to do with your relationship.
All you can do is be honest and forewarn
him; after that, it's up to him. If he either tries to bully you, or goes
off in a massive sulk, that is his choice, and you cannot take responsibility.
It would be his loss if he drives away his friends with this unreasonable
attempt to force people to take sides. There may come a point where his
friendship is not worth the sacrifice.
As an aside, "despite months
of people trying to help him get over it" - leave it. Any attention
to this is just fanning the flames. Play it down, he has to work through